Finding Home

This blog post's subtitle should be something like: Cheesy Romance Movies and Thoughts on Meeting my Husband, 10 years later. 

I'm going to tackle the "Cheesy Romance Movies" part first. 

I've been staying up late recently, so I thought I would waste the time by watching cheesy romance movies on Netflix. I've watched a lot of them recently, just because I think the Rom-Com has died in Hollywood, so a lot more indie ones are coming out and they get to Netflix pretty quickly or something like that. (Come on, what was the last really good Rom-Com Hollywood produced?) 

As I was watching one last night, I realized that most of them have a good premise. Most of them even have good actors, even if they aren't famous. Probably the worst things I've seen in the movies are related to character, and too much emphasis on dialogue. And they all even have between one and two really good lines/discussions about love or relationships that made me smile. While I don't think the execution is always the greatest, whatever the reason (unrelatable character, unexpressive character, character is obsessed with dating/getting married/etc., side characters are hardly fleshed out, or some of the weird side-plots, most of them have made me stay to watch the end and sometimes I'll even tear up, the hard-to-impress-impossibly-high-standards-for-romance-romantic that I am. 

So, what does this have to do with my husband? 

This year marks the ten-year mark for us. We've been together for more than a third of my life, and if life's averages are any indication, I have fifty to a hundred more years more with him.

As much as I'd like to think our love story could rival  some of the literary greats, I know ours doesn't. We met at college. I'm not the most likeable person when you meet me, and even after you meet me, and he wasn't the most articulate, and neither was he really prepared for a real relationship. We had a lot of touch and go, and then all of a sudden, we clicked and then the rest followed. 

In many ways, I think our love story is sort of like a cheesy romance movie, where my character is this diamond in the rough (diamond in the really rough) and he was this wandering soul looking for a home even as he had to build one for himself. At times, the dialogue was bad, but we have so many good lines over ten years I can't help but smile as I think of them. And at times, the subplots are definitely weird and uncomfortable, and there are terrible fights followed by half-muttered apologies from me or grand ones from him. My tragic flaws are still there. True love has changed me, and continues to do so, often at my pride's displeasure.

So while cheesy romance movies are less than completely captivating, I find that they are ultimately more real than most of the mainstream ones. For me, after ten years now, it's a good reminder about the realities between realism and fantasy. I thought I would fall in love and get married and live happily ever after, but that "live" part is still about so much more than just being happy. It's about being true to yourself and your life, even if it's a grand mix of emotions and a wide range of experiences. 

Happy 10 years to you, my beloved!